From Rabbi Weber Feb-March 2013

From Rabbi Weber

            As we engage in our popular perennial Purim preparations, I share once again in the latest collection of Random Ramblings from a Roving Reform(ed) Rabbi.

• “Words with Enemies” would be a lot more interesting.
• Tom Cruise is considering a role in the sequel to “Top Gun.” Thinking of him landing a fighter jet on any carrier at his age, I suggest the new movie’s theme song should be, “Highway to the Corti-Zone.”
• After 30 years of marriage, Shira has finally decided to take my name. From now on, she’ll be called “Don.”
• I get that Roman numerals seem very dignified, but did anyone think through the “XXX Olympic Games”?
• Driving to Cape Cod, I thought of the limitless amusement that must ensue for children growing up in Mianus, CT.
• And on my ten-thousandth trip down Route 95 to Washington, I came up with a new motto for Delaware: “Delaware – because it’s on the way to where you’re going.”
• Your kids may grow up and move away, but you’ll always have their cell phones on your account.
• I was behind a truck which said “construction vehicle – do not follow.” It was going the way I wanted to go, so I didn’t know what to do.
• I’m so glad the election is over. Now I don’t have to worry about what the color of my tie says about my politics, and I can go back to worrying that Shira will look at me & say, “you wore that with THAT???”
• The Optimum iO remote control is a monument to bad design.
• If you ever want to feel really old, look at the skin on your hands when you’re using an Xlerator hand dryer.

Newsletter Article

Jewish Video Games I’d Like to See:

• Tomb Visitor
• Dance Dance Revolution, Bar Mitzvah Edition
• NFL $20K – Giants Season Ticket Edition
• Grand Theft Lincoln Continental
• The Legend of Zayde
• Space Arrangers
• Call of Duty 6 – Cabbage Soup Conflict
• Wii Don’t Fit
• The Syms – create your own clothing discount chain

           

            And Jewish-Themed Movies, too…

• Gunfight at the O-U Corral – when two kosher butchers open up in the same neighborhood, it is a blood-feud for control of the West (actually, the West Side, around 84th street)
• You’ve Got Mohel – a touching romantic comedy which ends with the birth of a baby boy.
• Pinchas of the Caribbean – the swashbuckling tale of a nice Jewish boy on a discount Cancun vacation.
• Jet Li’s Fearful – powerful, true-life story of parents watching their kid in his first karate tournament.
• A Killeh and the Bee – heartwarming tale of a young man who triumphs in the National Spelling Bee in spite of an incredibly painful hernia.
• The Firstborn Supremacy – a modern-day Jacob and Esau story. Jacob works for MI5.
• The Longest Yard Sale
• • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Kitchen
  • Good Night, Good Luck, and Gei Gezunterheit – investigative reporters for the Jewish Daily Forward
  • Cold Mountain, Warm Bowl of Soup – touching story of a wounded Civil War soldier welcomed home to Brooklyn.
  • Das Boot, Vot You Should Vear During das Vinter.
  • Unforgiven – when the car breaks down on the way to shul on Yom Kippur…
  • Half-Million Dollar Baby – Based on the true story about a nice Jewish girl getting into Harvard on full scholarship.
  • Someone’s Gotta Give – romantic comedy about Federation fundraisers in a retirement community.
  • Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Event Planners
  • Failure to Lunch
  • Happy Feet, Comfortable Shoes
  • Snakes in a Shul – ‘nuff said.                                                             

  If you think these are funny, well… I’m sorry for you. But if you want to see something really funny, come to the TRT Purim Service and Shpiel, on Saturday evening, February 23^rd. Come in a costume – yes, you! Make fun of yourself, make fun of our ancestors, make fun of anyone you don’t have to live with… it’s all good. Prizes will be awarded for the best costumes, so don’t miss out!

  And our Purim Carnival will be held the following day – Sunday, February 24^th, from noon to 2 p.m. Everything is open to everyone – bring friends, family and strangers… the stranger the better!

                                                                                      Happy Purim!

                                                                                      Rabbi Don Weber